A SoRiku And AkuRoku Fic
by Krizy-Chan
Summary: Sora and Riku double-date with Axel and Roxas, only for flames, angry strong men and Axel sucking Roxas' face to ensure. Crackfic.


**My first attempt at SoRiku and AkuRoku! Well, a SoRiku and AkuRoku fic... Testing out mah mad skeelx (the "x" makes it ****_edgier_****). Anyways, enjoy.**

* * *

"Riku! Riku! Riku! Riku!" Sora whined repeatedly, bashing his head against the bathroom door. "You've been in there for _hours_."

Riku opened the door, causing Sora to fall flat on his face. "I was _perfecting _my glorious hair." He explained, as angelic lights shone behind him and sparkly dust filled the air.

Sora sneezed. "But I need to do that too!" He complained. This started a fierce argument over the bathroom involving the fiddle, pink dresses, a veterinarian and the Macarena.

"_I love yooouuuu! You love meeee! We're one great big familyyyyy!_"

The two manly men paused as Sora answered his phone.

Riku began to hum along to the Barney song. Sora pulled him up and dragged him out the door, the silverette flying behind him like a limp noodle. "What the? Sora!?"

"We're late! We're late!" Sora informed him calmly, running like a maniac. "And I wanted to be early!"

"Sora-" Riku was cut off as Sora halted, causing him to slam into the brunette.

"We're here!" Sora cheered, and dragged Riku inside. "Hi, Axel! Hi, Roxas!"

Axel stopped trying to eat Roxas' face long enough to look at the two. "Hi." He replied, and attached his face to Roxas'.

"So." Sora began, sitting down. Receiving no reply, he began to swing his legs.

"Ow!" Roxas looked up at Axel innocently, tears in his eyes. "He kicked me." Roxas pouted.

"Aiiieeee!" Sora shrieked, running around the restaurant as Axel chased him while hurling flaming boomerangs at him.

"Haha." Roxas snickered, getting out a video camera while pocketing the eye drops. "Take that, Sora!"

"I'm gonna kill you!" Riku pounced on Roxas.

"Don't touch my Roxy!" Axel began to throw fire at Riku as well.

Several customers screamed, getting up and running out of the restaurant.

"What is going on here!?" The manager came out, and spied the fighting quartet. He approached them, his huge frame casting an ominous shadow over them.

Axel gulped.

* * *

"So, where are we gonna go now?" Sora asked. After the manager kicked them out of his restaurant, they had gone and sat on the curb.

"McDonald's?" Roxas suggested.

"Anybody?" Sora asked. Roxas glared at him.

"_Are you ignorin' Roxy!?_" Axel hissed, flames coming out of his mouth.

Sora shrunk. "No." He said meekly.

"Okay." Axel grinned.

"So, McDonald's it is then." Sora said.

* * *

"I'd like, a, um... how about... no... what do you think?" The man in front of them asked the cashier.

"I'd suggest food, sir." She replied flatly.

"Okay. I'll have the food then." The man replied cheerily.

Riku perked up.

"What food, sir?"

"Oh, the, um... the, uh..."

Riku went over to the wall and smashed his face against it.

"Axy, I'm hungry." Roxas whined.

"Order already!" Axel roared at the man, the background magically becoming fire.

"I-I'll have a Whopper and a Frosty Waffle Cone!" The man spluttered.

"We don't have that here." The cashier replied.

Axel loomed closer to the man.

"Forget it! I'm going to Subway!" The man ran out crying.

"What do you want?" The cashier asked.

"Finally." Axel grumbled, and placed his order.

After they had ordered and gotten their food, they went to look for a seat.

"Why is this place so busy?" Axel griped as they wandered around.

"It's free french fry Friday. You get one free french fry with every order of fries placed on a twenty hundred-thousand munny or more order!" Sora said cheerfully.

"SPACE!" Axel pounced on the table of an open booth.

"Axel?" Roxas said.

"Yeah?" Axel replied, shoving the earlier occupants' food off the table.

"I think they just went to the restroom." Roxas pointed out.

Axel paused. "Oh."

"Hey!" A muscular couple went over to the booth. "That's our table!"

Their baby began to cry, and the mothers' face contorted in rage.

"_You dare upset my baby!?_"

The four legged it.

* * *

"At least we got our food." Sora said, placing their order on a picnic table.

"Yeah." Axel agreed.

They ate in silence.

"Wanna go watch a movie?" Sora asked.

"Which one?" Roxas asked.

"I hear _The Last Paopu: The Movie_ is showing." Sora suggested.

"Can I rape- I mean, molest- I mean, be affectionate with Roxy during it?" Axel asked.

"Sure."

"Let's go!"

* * *

_"I have... a confession, Gary-Stu."_

_"What is it, Mary?"_

_"I'm secretly Marys' evil twin separated at birth, Sue!"_

_"Noooo_oooo!"

Soras' wails mixed with Gary-Stus' at the revelation. He grabbed some tissues and promptly blew his nose. "Why, Sue, why?"

"Shaddup!" A boot filled with chocolate was thrown at his head.

"Ooh, chocolate." Sora began to eat it.

"What happened to my life?" Riku emoed.

"I don't know, Riku. I don't know." Sora said seriously, before shoving chocolate into his mouth.

"Nomnomnomnomnomnom." Axel continued to make out with Roxas.

"Hey Riku." Sora poked Riku.

"What?" Riku asked.

"Wanna make out?"

"Okay!" Riku and Sora began to make out as well.

The rest of the movie was accompanied by the sounds of them making out.

* * *

They were still making out at the end of the movie, at which point Roxas and Sora simply clung on to their respective partners as Axel and Riku carried them out. Then they went their separate ways, planning on doing Things to their ukes.

* * *

**So. How'd I do?**


End file.
